Me: So . . . How is your diet coming along? Are you logging and following your doctors guidelines?
I know she/he isn't doing everything she/he can be to improve her/his health and I attempt to call her/him on this quite frequently, but sorry to say she/he is a SELF-RATIONALIZER!!! She/he has a reason for why she/he isn't eating properly, not getting to the gym more frequently, and not following through on her/his weight loss. I hear this self-rationalization nonsense on a regular basis. For example below is are conversation from this past tuesday evenings session:
Me: So . . . How is your diet coming along? Are you logging and following your doctors guidelines?
Me: Really (I already know she is lying but I wanna catch her in it)! So then were the scales down this evening at the weight-in (she is a weight watcher, which I hate, but some accountability is better than none)?
Client: Well . . . not exactly it was kind of high tonight . . .
Me: But I thought your diet was going well. How could you gain weight?
Client: I don't konw I thought I was doing well (self-rationalization, you either know you are or you don't). I think it had to do with me and Blah (her boyfriend) eating Charlie's Chicken last night.
Me: WHATTTTT (sound of me punching myself in the face)!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think Charlie's Chicken is part of your doctor's guidelines. Fried Chicken, mashed potatoes, and rolls are not okay for you.
Client: I know! I know! I know!
Me: (then why they heck did you eat it)
Client: Me and blah picked it up after work and took it to his daughter's house to have dinner together. I mean what am I to do thats what they wanted (self-rationalization). But I only ate a little mash potatoes (self-rationalization) and I only had one and a half rolls (self-rationalization). I also hate to eat anything high in sodium before I weigh-in that might be why I weighed so high tonight (self-rationalization).
Me: . . . . . . (very sarcastically) yeah that probably was it all the sodium . . . . . (WTF)
Let me first say that I love this client to death and would bend over backwards to help her in anyway shape or form, but I am tired of hearing this kind of rationalization by her. I mean really what could you do about it . . . um I don't know how about not fucking eating it. Really you honestly think sodium from the evening before is the reason why your weight is high. You don't think it is because of the all sugar and fat that the previous evenings meal contained and all the poor food choices you make week after week after week. If I had to put my money on it I would bet that this is a reoccurring event throughout your week and you are perfectly happy with it because you rationalize it in your head because other wise it would be unacceptable to both you and your friends that your eating this way.
It is frustrating to hear and even more frustrating that I cannot get her/him to understand that she/he is the true reason why she/he is holding herself/himself back. Constant self-rationalization is a poisonous thing. It is a cancer the more you do it the stronger a defense mechanism it becomes and before you know it you have put yourself in a terrible situation because you were not willing to accept the fact that you are at fault for your failure and problems. I am sorry if this offends someone you, but I believe at some point you have to start accepting responsibility for yourself and your actions because no one else is going to do it for you. You cannot play the role of the object your whole life which is acted upon at some point you have to choose to be the force in the world and act upon it. Excuses and rationalizations are made by many, but self-discipline and commitment are held by few. I in no way intend to offend those who feel like they have had this conversation before whether it be with your trainer or a friend I simply want to open everyone's eyes to this very dangerous defense mechanism that can bring down the most motivated of individuals.
The whole take home message in all this is do not allow yourself to constantly defend your decisions by rationalizing them in a logical manner. I think it is sometimes good for you to accept that perhaps the decision you made was because you wanted to make it not because it was the smarter decision or it was the more convient solution. Be cognitively aware that you will try to self-rationalize your decisions especially ones that do not align with your current goals. Take these rationalizations and shove them aside. Decide that you will decide when you both succeed and fail. Decide that you will design and implement strategies to insure you succeed more than you fail. If you are going to take credit for success then you need to be willing to accept credit for your failures.